Embodied Consent for Pelvic Exams
Has anyone (doctor, nurse, physio) ever asked your vagina permission, before doing an internal examination for you? I know they asked you - or I hope that at least happened - but what about your vagina? Did she consent?
I decided a while back, during my own journey with healing my sexuality and my connection to my pelvic bowl, to offer this to my clients. It’s really simple but seems to make a big difference to how people feel about having internal vaginal or anal examinations and treatments.
I want to explain what we do here, so you can perhaps take it with you to your next pelvic health consultation. Maybe your Pap test, or a gynaecology visit, or your midwife or obstetrician. Maybe you’ll teach them something about working with the human body in a respectful, sensitive, holistic way!
Just bring your palms to your lower belly. Ideally, your little fingers rest over the pubic bone - but you can put your hands wherever feels safe to you.
Travel your attention down to your pelvis, and in particular to your vaginal opening. That’s down between the labia, or ‘lips’ of your vulva.
Pause there, and ask something like: “I’m hoping to invite [insert health professional’s name] to take a look and touch inside you. This is because [insert reason]. How do you feel about that? Is it ok?”
Are you giggling? Or rolling your eyes? Well, I realise not everyone has a chat with their vagina - or any of their body parts - every day like I do… But trust me, you will feel more connected and empowered in your interactions with pelvic health professionals if you practice and apply this process.
Next, you just listen. Sometimes there’s not a whole lot said, if you haven’t checked in with your nether regions for a while… But that’s ok. We just do our best with what is offered. For example, if there’s total silence, or numbness, and you still consciously want to have the examination or treatment: “I’m not hearing you well right now. I’m going to say it’s ok, and check in with you later.” And then you do that - have another listen, send some love and gratitude, when you’re next in a safe space.
Mostly, it’s just “Yep, she says go ahead,” from my clients at LUNA. Sometimes we need to unpack a bit first.
If you have any sense that you wouldn’t feel safe or supported ‘in conversation’ with your body in this way, I’d strongly encourage you to reach out to a mental health care professional for support. If you want to reach out to me via email, I’m happy to answer questions and recommend resources.
Ok, go! Start a conversation with your vagina and see how embodied consent starts to feel natural, empowering and beautiful!