Pelvic Massage +/- Pelvic Wand
<< This article is an excerpt from the May 2024 module of online resources for BLOOD CLUB members. Check out BLOOD CLUB if you’re interested to learn about Menstrual Cycle Awareness in a welcoming, non-judgemental sisterhood. It’s only $7 to try it out and join our next monthly online community coaching call! BLOOD CLUB is here to help you with menstrual health, health and body sovereignty, and reconnecting with the beauty and power that lives in our bodies as menstruating Women. >>
Pelvic tension arises in the female body for a range of reasons.
Like anywhere else in the body, some tension in your pelvic bowl is healthy. But if there is very high 'tone' (tightening) in the muscles and other tissues of the pelvic region, we tend to feel it and experience problems.
For example, pelvic tension can cause or be linked to:
Pain with sexual penetration or stimulation
Difficult with emptying your bladder or bowel
Feeling like you can't hold onto urine or stools - or experiencing actual leakage
Leaking urine, wind or stool when you cough, sneeze, laugh a lot, dance, exercise or orgasm
Difficulty reaching orgasm or discomfort/pain when you do
Tight or painful hips, back, jaw (teeth clenching or grinding), neck, or recurrent headaches
Digestive upset like constipation, bloating and cramping
If you have any of these issues, I would encourage you to seek out a pelvic health physiotherapist to assess your resting pelvic floor muscle tone (via gentle touch with their finger). When you don't address a too-tight pelvic floor, it can lead to ongoing problems and stress that your body-mind can do without!
While these are some of the most common signs of pelvic tension, it can be more subtle. For example, let's try taking a deep breath right now. Wherever you are, stand or sit with a long spine. Release as much unwanted tension in your body as you can. Now take a long, slow inhale - and imagine that your pelvic floor is like a stretchy trampoline that presses down. As you exhale, feel that the pelvic floor gently raises up into its starting position (don't squeeze though). Inhale again, feeling the openings (urethra, vagina, anus) softening and 'yamwning' a little. Exhale and allow the pelvic floor to lift up to 'neutral'. Try this a few times.
How did you find that? Easy? Difficult? Impossible? Was there a lot of pressure to overcome in order to feel the pelvic floor descend, or maybe you felt it was already too far 'down'? Maybe you just couldn't visualise that area well at all. Don't panic if this was tricky! You can work with your ability to sense and influence what's happening in your pelvic bowl, just like any other neuro-muscular (nervous system + muscles) skillset.
Even if you found this exercise easy and have zero symptoms, there are likely times in your Cycle when there is more-than-usual tension in your pelvic bowl. The meditation I have included in this module is all about tuning into your bowl. You might prefer to think of this as your wombspace, your yoni, the root of your body - whatever words you want to use that means 'all the physical parts and all the energetic sensitivities that lie at the base or seat of your body, in your pelvic region'.
Pelvic massage is also another beautiful way to expand your exploration of your Cyclic self, your feminine energy, your sexuality, your pleasure, your sovereign embodiment, and your body in general. I've also posted here a PDF about Pelvic Massage and using a Wand. Using a pelvic wand can be helpful when you want to work with the deeper muscles, and ease pressure on your wrist and fingers. I also think there's a certain healing available when we reclaimin a phallic (penis-shaped) object like a pelvic wand for our own personal, powerful, and maybe even pleasure-ful practice!
For women who are not super comfortable touching their own genitals, I usually recommend to become comfortable first with using a thumb or finger, a few centimetres inside the vaginal opening. And remember that lubricant is VERY helpful for most of us, as pelvic massage is not the same as masturbation (self-pleasure) - although it's fine of course if your body leads you into a pleasure time.
There's no need to 'suffer in silence' if you're experiencing pelvic tension or other pelvic health challenges. Send me any questions via email (yes, ANY questions that are relevant - I have heard it all!) that you would rather not share with the group. We can book in a one-to-one coaching or physiotherapy call if you would like that. And finally, please remember that pelvic tension, pain with sex, bowel and bladder issues, and pelvic health challenges are SUPER common and there is almost certainly a woman in our group who has felt what you're going through - and she might even have some wisdom to share.